Sometimes "The Bigger Person" Needs a Minute: On Angela Bassett, Snubs, and Our Healing

Let's talk about something real. Something that resonates, I think, with a lot of us, especially as Black women navigating a world that often overlooks our contributions. I'm talking about Angela Bassett's recent interview and her reflections on not receiving an award she clearly deserved. It got me thinking, and I know I'm not alone in this: how do we, as Black women, balance grace with the very valid feeling of "Hold up, now..." when we've been passed over?

We've all been there, right? Put in the work, poured our heart and soul into something, only to see the recognition, the award, the "atta girl" go to someone else. Someone who maybe didn't put in half the effort. Someone who maybe benefited from a system that wasn't built with us in mind. And what are we supposed to do? Smile and wave? Be the "bigger person"? Pretend it doesn't sting?

Listen, I'm all about healing. I'm all about finding peace and moving forward. But sometimes, healing also includes acknowledging the hurt. It includes saying, "This ain't right," and "I'm not happy about this." It includes refusing to shrink myself to make someone else feel comfortable.

We're told, especially as Black women, to be graceful, to be gracious, to rise above. And most of the time, we do. We have to. But what happens when that "bigger person" act starts to feel like a burden? What happens when it starts to chip away at our self-worth?

Angela Bassett's situation, while on a much larger scale, reflects the experiences of so many of us. It reminds us that even at the highest levels of success, we still face these challenges. It reminds us that our hard work, our talent, and our dedication are not always enough. And it reminds us that it's okay to feel some kind of way about that.

So, here's what I'm thinking: healing doesn't mean pretending we're not disappointed. It doesn't mean silencing our feelings. It means acknowledging them, processing them, and then deciding how we want to move forward. Sometimes, that means speaking up. Sometimes, it means advocating for ourselves. And sometimes, it means saying, "I'm not going to be the bigger person this time."

It's okay to feel the sting of being overlooked. It's okay to express that disappointment. It's okay to demand what we deserve. Because true healing isn't about ignoring our feelings; it's about honoring them. It's about recognizing our worth and refusing to settle for less.

This isn't about being bitter or holding onto negativity. It's about self-respect. It's about recognizing that our contributions matter. And it's about refusing to let anyone, or any system, diminish our value. So, sis, if you've been feeling like you've been passed over, know that you're not alone. Your feelings are valid. And sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is to acknowledge the hurt, speak our truth, and refuse to be anything less than our full, authentic selves.