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Shot of a young woman writing in her journal at the beach

For a while now, I've quietly worked on a book of poetry. It's finished, truly finished, and ready for the world to see. But the thought of actually hitting "publish" has brought on a wave of fear, a hesitation I didn't fully anticipate. It's like I've crafted this beautiful, raw piece of my soul and now, the idea of releasing it feels like exposing a part of me I've kept hidden, a true unveiling.This collection of poems dives deep into my experiences as a Black woman – the joys, the heartbreaks, the quiet strength, and the loud resilience. There’s a poem in there about my hair, a piece of our identity so rich with history and personal journey. And there are words about no longer wearing capes, about shedding the burden of always having to be strong for everyone else, about reclaiming our softness and our boundaries. These are not just words on a page; they are fragments of my truth, pieces of my lived reality.<figure id="figure-r66f98t6wtmcnsd6kp"><img id="r66f98t6wtmcnsd6kp" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2202548134/photo/serious-african-woman-with-crumpled-paper-having-problem-writing-by-hand-document-studying.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=2J-1avw5GlonJRoeFF0Gmin7UEXoD_QdNR_E7X0TJrg=" alt="Serious African woman with crumpled paper having problem writing by hand document studying learning at home. Girl no idea sitting at workplace writing notes at office. Start up business deadline." title="Serious African woman with crumpled paper having problem writing by hand document studying learning at home. Girl no idea sitting at workplace writing notes at office. Start up business deadline." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2202548134/photo/serious-african-woman-with-crumpled-paper-having-problem-writing-by-hand-document-studying.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=2J-1avw5GlonJRoeFF0Gmin7UEXoD_QdNR_E7X0TJrg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>The act of writing it was incredibly cathartic, a way to process and understand. But the leap from creation to public sharing feels different. It's the fear of judgment, perhaps, or the vulnerability of having something so close to my core interpreted by others. It’s the realization that once it's out there, it no longer belongs solely to me. It will live in the minds and hearts of readers, sparking their own reflections. And that, in itself, is a powerful, yet daunting, prospect.I know I'm not alone in this feeling. We, as Black women, have often been taught to guard our deepest selves, to protect our emotions, to present a certain facade to the world. We are strong, capable, and resilient. But behind that strength lies a universe of sensitivity, dreams, and profound truths. And sometimes, sharing those truths, especially in a raw, artistic form, can feel like the biggest risk of all.<figure id="figure-vs8onmw32smcnsmfm2"><img id="vs8onmw32smcnsmfm2" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2203071872/photo/young-woman-in-cozy-attire-studies-at-home-desk-surrounded-by-stacks-of-books-pens-and-green.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=E0omkNVMa9uN6I9SUgeScTd-Y_-s9t-Z3QEl8BNwmuk=" alt="Young woman in cozy attire studies at home desk, surrounded by stacks of books, pens, and green plants" title="Young woman in cozy attire studies at home desk, surrounded by stacks of books, pens, and green plants" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="null" data-positionY="null" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>Have you ever felt this way? Have you created something deeply personal – whether it's a piece of art, a story, a business idea, or even a heartfelt conversation you needed to have – and found yourself hesitating at the threshold of sharing it with the world? What was that moment like, and what held you back from that brave unveiling?I'm leaning into the understanding that true power often lies on the other side of vulnerability. And perhaps, by sharing my fear, I'm already taking the first step.

The Poet's Pause: Facing the Fear of Sharing Our Hidden Selves

Thoughtful african woman thinking while looking outside the window

I want to start this Friday with a thought that's heavy on my heart, born from a recent experience. I've just stepped away from a role that, in hindsight, had become truly unhealthy for my spirit. And while the act of leaving was a mix of relief and a leap of faith, it’s brought a profound realization that I want to share with all of you.There comes a point in our lives where the script flips. We've spent years proving ourselves, pushing through, holding things down, often enduring situations that chipped away at our peace. We've been taught resilience, and we've mastered it. But there's a vital distinction between that resilience and simply enduring what no longer serves us, especially when it's actively draining our well-being.<figure id="figure-flgw39w15mcfbcain"><img id="flgw39w15mcfbcain" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/942969248/photo/young-woman-working-from-home.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=Qbu4IAZYlGCBxS_WvXwdl063tqzTw9jxG3KHUi8Zn0U=" alt="Young woman working from home" title="Young woman working from home" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>Sometimes, we stay in situations – be it a client relationship, a project, or even a mindset – far longer than we should. We might rationalize it with stability, loyalty, or the fear of the unknown. The thought of making a big shift, of charting a completely new course, can feel daunting, even impossible. We question if we have the energy, the capacity, the very right to pivot at this stage of our entrepreneurial journey.But here’s the powerful truth I’m learning: you're not starting over in the way you might think. You're not erasing your history or abandoning your hard-won experience. Instead, you're embracing a strategic reset. Stepping away from an environment that ceased to be healthy isn't a failure; it's a declaration of self-worth. It’s a profound act of self-preservation that says, "My peace matters more. My well-being is non-negotiable."<figure id="figure-eng2xlnykmcfbe6sg"><img id="eng2xlnykmcfbe6sg" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1555249612/photo/peace-breathe-and-calm-woman-by-plants-for-meditation-exercise-in-a-greenery-nursery-health.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=hicZI_jacqnK1isgPhaQXCSugcbSc0zI6ERM6mwpZgY=" alt="Peace, breathe and calm woman by plants for meditation exercise in a greenery nursery. Health, gratitude and young African female person with a relaxing zen mindset by an indoor greenhouse garden." title="Peace, breathe and calm woman by plants for meditation exercise in a greenery nursery. Health, gratitude and young African female person with a relaxing zen mindset by an indoor greenhouse garden." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1555249612/photo/peace-breathe-and-calm-woman-by-plants-for-meditation-exercise-in-a-greenery-nursery-health.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=hicZI_jacqnK1isgPhaQXCSugcbSc0zI6ERM6mwpZgY=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>This is about refining, refocusing, and re-optimizing your existing businesses and your overall path. You're taking energy and time that was tied up in a draining situation and deliberately reallocating it to ventures that presumably bring you more joy, fulfillment, and align better with your vision. You're leveraging the foundation you've already built, directing your incredible wisdom and energy toward what truly serves your purpose.Letting go of what no longer serves us isn't about weakness; it's about wisdom. It’s recognizing that sometimes, the greatest strength lies in knowing when to release your grip, to create space for something healthier, something more aligned with the incredible woman you are becoming. The path might not be perfectly clear, and yes, there might be moments of uncertainty. But isn't that part of any new journey, especially one you're steering?<figure id="figure-ajd6gdwqimcfbgwgn"><img id="ajd6gdwqimcfbgwgn" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1426460860/photo/smiling-young-african-woman-sitting-with-laptop-in-cafe.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Sbh9g_ueGVLlw0JoQzOIubzz9qawaLcdgdcSNeO0QcQ=" alt="Smiling young african woman sitting with laptop in cafe" title="Smiling young african woman sitting with laptop in cafe" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1426460860/photo/smiling-young-african-woman-sitting-with-laptop-in-cafe.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Sbh9g_ueGVLlw0JoQzOIubzz9qawaLcdgdcSNeO0QcQ=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>As we go into the weekend, I want to offer a word of encouragement from one heart to another. If you're currently enduring a situation that drains your spirit, remember this: you have the power to reset. You have the right to release. Your experience, your wisdom, and your inherent strength are not diminished by making a shift; they are the very tools that will build your next, more fulfilling chapter. Embrace the reset, trust your knowing, and step into the freedom that awaits when you let go.&nbsp; Journal on this question: What's one thing you're ready to strategically release this Friday to make space for your own peace and growth?

Friday Thought: Embracing the Reset

Shot of a beautiful young traditional woman posing outside

As these long hot hot days of summer unfold here in Tulsa, and celebrations like Juneteenth still resonate, my mind has been on the idea of freedom. But beyond those significant markers, what about our everyday, evolving freedom? What does it look like, feel like, to be truly free in this powerful season of our lives.For Black women navigating this beautiful, powerful season of our lives, freedom isn't a static concept. It’s a continuous unfolding, a journey of liberation that takes on new meanings as we gain wisdom and clarity. It's about shedding layers that no longer serve us, claiming space that was always ours, and defining what it truly means to be free, right here, right now.<figure id="figure-mxt7ay56ugmcay64cy"><img id="mxt7ay56ugmcay64cy" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1395523899/photo/happy-young-woman-in-orange-outfit-dancing-on-bed.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9MPq6b_aL2TJTK4AWKhPcbElG6YVZVTDjLxPXaN1aW4=" alt="happy young woman in orange outfit dancing on bed" title="happy young woman in orange outfit dancing on bed" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1395523899/photo/happy-young-woman-in-orange-outfit-dancing-on-bed.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9MPq6b_aL2TJTK4AWKhPcbElG6YVZVTDjLxPXaN1aW4=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure> Think about the freedoms we've earned, often through hard-won experience. The freedom to say "no" without guilt, to prioritize our peace, to walk away from dynamics that drain us. It's the freedom to speak our minds, even when our voices shake, knowing that our perspectives are invaluable. It's the freedom to choose joy, to nurture our passions, and to rest without apology. These are not small things; they are monumental acts of self-liberation.This evolving freedom also means embracing the liberty to define beauty, success, and even love on our own terms. We're past the age of seeking external validation for our worth. Our worth is inherent, divinely given. This stage of life allows us to truly embody that truth, to live authentically, and to pursue what genuinely brings us fulfillment, regardless of societal expectations.<figure id="figure-z3ztx7dwm9mcayb6ae"><img id="z3ztx7dwm9mcayb6ae" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2164501037/photo/sunrise-beach-and-happy-woman-for-freedom-vacation-and-holiday-weekend-in-miami-with-smile.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=jzxHZgBnYtYCxZcY_ZhreWCzr7EhWl7bkppsl0wfnZ8=" alt="Sunrise, beach and happy woman for freedom, vacation and holiday weekend in Miami with smile. Ocean, mindfulness and carefree for adventure, peaceful and joy for sea breeze by scenic view outdoor" title="Sunrise, beach and happy woman for freedom, vacation and holiday weekend in Miami with smile. Ocean, mindfulness and carefree for adventure, peaceful and joy for sea breeze by scenic view outdoor" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2164501037/photo/sunrise-beach-and-happy-woman-for-freedom-vacation-and-holiday-weekend-in-miami-with-smile.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=jzxHZgBnYtYCxZcY_ZhreWCzr7EhWl7bkppsl0wfnZ8=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Sometimes, embracing this freedom requires letting go of old narratives – stories about who we "should" be, what we "must" do, or how we "ought to" show up. It demands courage to step into the fullness of who we are becoming (thanks Michelle), even if it feels unfamiliar or challenges the comfort zones of others.What freedoms are you claiming this summer? What liberation are you stepping into today? What old chains are you shedding? And how can you lean more fully into the beautiful, unfolding freedom that is uniquely yours, right now? This journey of self-liberation isn't just about big, historical moments; it's about the quiet, powerful choices we make every single day to live more fully, more authentically, and more freely.<figure id="figure-h8tpeorkxcmcayfa6w"><img id="h8tpeorkxcmcayfa6w" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/972570174/photo/beautiful-black-race-african-model-young-woman-stay-sit-down-and-think-about-on-the-coast-near.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=grYa9Eu-RjK4WbQL_wl71HrIBgMEPrZH2lRxvNLFKKU=" alt="beautiful black race african model young woman stay sit down and think about on the coast near the ocean. sunlight on her face and old style hair. traditional dress and beauty concept" title="beautiful black race african model young woman stay sit down and think about on the coast near the ocean. sunlight on her face and old style hair. traditional dress and beauty concept" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/972570174/photo/beautiful-black-race-african-model-young-woman-stay-sit-down-and-think-about-on-the-coast-near.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=grYa9Eu-RjK4WbQL_wl71HrIBgMEPrZH2lRxvNLFKKU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>

Our Evolving Freedoms

Afro-american curly haired woman enjoying sunset on roof, meditation, back view

Let's chat about something that can feel both terrifying and utterly liberating: vulnerability. As Black women, we've often been conditioned to be strong, to be the backbone, to hold everything together. We've built walls, sometimes out of necessity, to protect our hearts from a world that hasn't always been gentle. But now, in this powerful season of our lives, there's beauty and strength in choosing to let those walls down, even just a little, in our closest relationships.We've learned so much about ourselves and others. We've navigated challenges, celebrated triumphs, and accumulated wisdom. With all that life experience, the thought of opening ourselves up, of truly showing our tender spots, might seem counterintuitive. Why invite potential pain when we've worked so hard to build resilience?<figure id="figure-v9gb1mux2mc75tgjh"><img id="v9gb1mux2mc75tgjh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2161316410/photo/couple-holding-hands-and-above-for-support-in-home-for-care-connection-and-empathy-for-mental.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=pkaCuvTrXZKSZQ_jAUMLNnGp2LTI1m8DdOe_2ZYEWBU=" alt="Couple, holding hands and above for support in home for care, connection and empathy for mental health. People, comfort and partner for help with kindness, bonding and solidarity for grief on table" title="Couple, holding hands and above for support in home for care, connection and empathy for mental health. People, comfort and partner for help with kindness, bonding and solidarity for grief on table" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2161316410/photo/couple-holding-hands-and-above-for-support-in-home-for-care-connection-and-empathy-for-mental.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=pkaCuvTrXZKSZQ_jAUMLNnGp2LTI1m8DdOe_2ZYEWBU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Yet, true connection, the kind that truly nourishes our souls, thrives in that space of open-heartedness. It's in sharing our fears, our quiet longings, our past hurts, and even our moments of uncertainty that authentic intimacy blossoms. When we choose to be vulnerable, we're not being weak; we're demonstrating immense courage. We're showing a willingness to be seen, fully and imperfectly, and inviting others to do the same.Think about it: how often do we wish someone would truly see us, beyond the roles we play or the strength we project? The irony is, we often have to initiate that seeing by revealing ourselves first. This isn't about oversharing or sacrificing our boundaries. It's about intentional, reciprocal sharing with those who have earned our trust – our partners, our closest friends, our chosen family.<figure id="figure-033t0500awmc761yow"><img id="033t0500awmc761yow" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1499111355/photo/back-view-black-couple-and-hug-outdoor-at-house-real-estate-and-new-loan-for-luxury-home-man.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1ZElKoya6k6A_r8cUmN3-X6krf_SQkxksbXpV8ULOgg=" alt="Back view, black couple and hug outdoor at house, real estate and new loan for luxury home. Man, woman and people in front of property investment, moving and dream neighborhood for building mortgage" title="Back view, black couple and hug outdoor at house, real estate and new loan for luxury home. Man, woman and people in front of property investment, moving and dream neighborhood for building mortgage" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1499111355/photo/back-view-black-couple-and-hug-outdoor-at-house-real-estate-and-new-loan-for-luxury-home-man.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1ZElKoya6k6A_r8cUmN3-X6krf_SQkxksbXpV8ULOgg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>When we voice old hurts in a safe space, it can be incredibly cathartic, helping us release burdens we've carried alone. This authenticity strips away superficiality, building relationships on genuine acceptance and love for our whole selves. And powerfully, our vulnerability can be an invitation for those we love to also drop their guard and connect on a deeper level.The journey to vulnerability might be a gradual one, a series of small, brave steps. It might mean voicing a need you've always suppressed, sharing a fear you've held close, or admitting you don't have all the answers. But each time we do, we create meaningful connections, and a richer experience of love and belonging.<figure id="figure-wpdg3o4vjlmc76d0n2"><img id="wpdg3o4vjlmc76d0n2" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1472077984/photo/shadow-black-woman-and-portrait-of-beauty-makeup-and-creative-spotlight-with-cosmetics.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=slNgcAcX4yi5FtKDX9BvaunCPPufZlakP8lZZwNUIbw=" alt="Shadow, black woman and portrait of beauty, makeup and creative spotlight with cosmetics, skincare and glow. Face, model and dark mystery background for facial aesthetic, fantasy and luxury fashion" title="Shadow, black woman and portrait of beauty, makeup and creative spotlight with cosmetics, skincare and glow. Face, model and dark mystery background for facial aesthetic, fantasy and luxury fashion" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>This week, consider the power to unveil our true selves. Explore what it means to choose connection over caution, and how opening our hearts can lead to the most profound and fulfilling relationships we've ever known.&nbsp;What does vulnerability feel like for you today, and how might a little more openness transform your connections?

Vulnerability in Our Relationships Now

Father's day. Pretty girl giving dad postcard

As Father's Day arrives this Sunday, &nbsp;it holds a very particular kind of resonance for daughters. For us, the relationship with our fathers often shapes so much about who we become – our confidence, our understanding of male relationships, and even how we see ourselves in the world. This day can bring a flood of cherished memories for some, and a quiet ache for others, depending on the story we hold in our hearts.When a father pours into his daughter, it is a powerful thing. He can be her first protector, her first champion, the first man to show her what respect feels like. His affirmation can build an unshakeable sense of worth, a boldness that helps us navigate a world that too often tries to diminish us. That strong foundation, that feeling of being truly seen and loved by our fathers, is a priceless gift that echoes through every part of our lives.<figure id="figure-535hwzlekmbwwzvm5" class=""><img id="535hwzlekmbwwzvm5" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1181342943/photo/african-american-father-holding-his-daughter.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=-jf0pgkPF1Qa87NQW50p160D2ZtSB_vkM-66RNcV2vg=" alt="African American father holding his daughter." title="African American father holding his daughter." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1181342943/photo/african-american-father-holding-his-daughter.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=-jf0pgkPF1Qa87NQW50p160D2ZtSB_vkM-66RNcV2vg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Yet, we also know the other side of this story. For too many, the figure of "father" brings feelings of absence, of missed connections, or of a love that felt distant or hard to grasp. That particular hurt, the longing for a presence that wasn't there, or for words that were left unspoken, can settle deep within a daughter's spirit. It's a valid pain, and this day can certainly bring it to the surface.And as Black women, our understanding often stretches to the unique battles many Black fathers themselves have faced. Imagine growing up in a world designed to diminish your worth, to limit your opportunities, to stereotype your very being. Black men have navigated immense pressures – the fight for fair employment, the constant need to prove their humanity, the burden of being seen as a threat simply for existing. These external realities can, unfortunately, make it incredibly difficult for some to show up emotionally, to connect in the ways we yearned for as daughters, or to navigate their own pain while also trying to lead. Understanding this doesn't excuse actions, but it certainly offers a deeper context for the lives our fathers have lived.<figure id="figure-fw9jvrot4cmbwx5a2z"><img id="fw9jvrot4cmbwx5a2z" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1742886719/photo/black-man-hands-and-praying-with-worship-and-banner-god-and-religion-faith-with-guidance-and.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9fGITvyAHdlpw8Ti2B8UNwo3UtK3jyR3eKQDs_kugUU=" alt="Black man, hands and praying with worship and banner, God and religion, faith with guidance and gratitude. Respect, spiritual and prayer with belief, blessing and mockup space with bokeh and trust" title="Black man, hands and praying with worship and banner, God and religion, faith with guidance and gratitude. Respect, spiritual and prayer with belief, blessing and mockup space with bokeh and trust" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1742886719/photo/black-man-hands-and-praying-with-worship-and-banner-god-and-religion-faith-with-guidance-and.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9fGITvyAHdlpw8Ti2B8UNwo3UtK3jyR3eKQDs_kugUU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Still, even amidst those harsh realities, so many Black fathers have moved mountains for their daughters. They were the quiet providers, the stern disciplinarians with hearts of gold, the men who instilled discipline and an unbreakable spirit. Their resilience, their dedication, and their often unspoken love, offered in ways they knew best, are powerful testaments to Black fatherhood. They did their best, often under immense pressure, to equip us for the world.Holding Space for Our Own Healing. For those who experienced a father-daughter relationship that wasn't what you needed, a relationship that left you with pain or a profound emptiness, please know that it's okay to cry. It's okay to grieve for what was lost, for what was never given, for the impact that pain had on your journey. This isn't about blaming or dwelling; it's about acknowledging your truth and honoring your feelings. True healing begins when we give ourselves permission to feel deeply, even the difficult emotions.On Sunday, celebrate the fathers who built us up and also extend grace and compassion to the men in our lives who struggled under burdens we could only begin to imagine. And for those of us who carry any hurt from our father-daughter journeys, let's offer ourselves kindness and the continuous space for healing. This day is a moment to recognize the profound, layered, and utterly unique bond between fathers and their daughters.<figure id="figure-n5nczokiiumbwxe30z"><img id="n5nczokiiumbwxe30z" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1318580298/photo/african-american-family-in-nature-walk-with-mom-and-dad.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=I9L8SFyFWKYekuJTnZRFoVTFWTc9BmNN1HFgOTltY1I=" alt="African American family in nature. Walk with mom and dad." title="African American family in nature. Walk with mom and dad." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1318580298/photo/african-american-family-in-nature-walk-with-mom-and-dad.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=I9L8SFyFWKYekuJTnZRFoVTFWTc9BmNN1HFgOTltY1I=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>

The Father's Love in a Daughter's Heart

Beautiful young african woman laughing outdoors

"I love when you count me out" -Kendrick LamarI want to talk about a feeling we all know too well. It's that subtle dismissiveness, the quiet doubt in someone's eyes, the unspoken assumption that you're not quite capable, not quite "it." It’s the sting of being underestimated, overlooked, or simply… counted out. As Black women, especially as we gain wisdom and stride confidently through life, this isn't just a hypothetical; it's often a lived experience.Maybe it was in a professional setting, where your ideas were minimized until someone else voiced them. A personal goal, where a dream was deemed "too big" or "unrealistic." Or the broader societal narrative that sometimes tries to diminish our power, our expertise, our very presence. You feel it – that quiet nudge to the side, that unspoken suggestion that your best days are behind you, or that your ambition is misplaced.It can be frustrating, even infuriating, to feel invisible or less than. It can make you question yourself, momentarily. But here's the profound truth I've come to embrace: sometimes, being counted out is the greatest gift.There’s a unique kind of fuel that ignites when someone underestimates your fire. It’s a powerful, internal shift. It's not about proving them wrong for their benefit, but about affirming your own unwavering belief in yourself. It becomes less about external validation and more about an unbreakable commitment to your own potential.When the world draws a line and places you outside it, it frees you. You're no longer playing by their limited expectations. You're suddenly operating on your own terms, powered by an underdog spirit that has nothing to lose and everything to gain. The energy that might have gone into seeking approval is now redirected into quiet determination, into meticulous planning, into the sheer, stubborn joy of proving it to the most important person: yourself.The "win" isn't always a grand, public spectacle. Sometimes, it's the quiet satisfaction of achieving a personal goal no one believed possible. It's the resilience you discover when you push through doubts, internal and external. It's the quiet triumph of knowing your own strength, even when others failed to see it. It's about blooming right where they thought you couldn't grow.So, the next time someone casts doubt, or subtly dismisses your capabilities, remember this: my God works in mysterious ways. That dismissal might just be the spark you needed. Let their underestimation be the wind beneath your wings, propelling you forward. Because there's a unique and powerful kind of satisfaction that comes from achieving what others deemed impossible. Let them count you out. We know that often, that's exactly when we're counting ourselves in.

Come-Passionate Coaching, LLC

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Our Evolving Freedoms

Vulnerability in Our Relationships Now

The Father's Love in a Daughter's Heart

Why Being Counted Out Fuels Our Wins