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Confident Black businesswoman standing with arms crossed, looking away, contemplating

Let's talk about something real. Something that resonates, I think, with a lot of us, especially as Black women navigating a world that often overlooks our contributions. I'm talking about Angela Bassett's recent interview and her reflections on not receiving an award she clearly deserved. It got me thinking, and I know I'm not alone in this: how do we, as Black women, balance grace with the very valid feeling of "Hold up, now..." when we've been passed over?We've all been there, right? Put in the work, poured our heart and soul into something, only to see the recognition, the award, the "atta girl" go to someone else. Someone who maybe didn't put in half the effort. Someone who maybe benefited from a system that wasn't built with us in mind. And what are we supposed to do? Smile and wave? Be the "bigger person"? Pretend it doesn't sting?Listen, I'm all about healing. I'm all about finding peace and moving forward. But sometimes, healing also includes acknowledging the hurt. It includes saying, "This ain't right," and "I'm not happy about this." It includes refusing to shrink myself to make someone else feel comfortable.We're told, especially as Black women, to be graceful, to be gracious, to rise above. And most of the time, we do. We have to. But what happens when that "bigger person" act starts to feel like a burden? What happens when it starts to chip away at our self-worth?Angela Bassett's situation, while on a much larger scale, reflects the experiences of so many of us. It reminds us that even at the highest levels of success, we still face these challenges. It reminds us that our hard work, our talent, and our dedication are not always enough. And it reminds us that it's okay to feel some kind of way about that.So, here's what I'm thinking: healing doesn't mean pretending we're not disappointed. It doesn't mean silencing our feelings. It means acknowledging them, processing them, and then deciding how we want to move forward. Sometimes, that means speaking up. Sometimes, it means advocating for ourselves. And sometimes, it means saying, "I'm not going to be the bigger person this time."It's okay to feel the sting of being overlooked. It's okay to express that disappointment. It's okay to demand what we deserve. Because true healing isn't about ignoring our feelings; it's about honoring them. It's about recognizing our worth and refusing to settle for less.This isn't about being bitter or holding onto negativity. It's about self-respect. It's about recognizing that our contributions matter. And it's about refusing to let anyone, or any system, diminish our value. So, sis, if you've been feeling like you've been passed over, know that you're not alone. Your feelings are valid. And sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is to acknowledge the hurt, speak our truth, and refuse to be anything less than our full, authentic selves.

Sometimes "The Bigger Person" Needs a Minute: On Angela Bassett, Snubs, and Our Healing

Woman standing arms crossed on red background

Okay, let's be real. How many of us have tried (and maybe failed spectacularly) to recreate at least one of those dances from Kendrick's Super Bowl halftime show? Those moves were infectious, a perfect cultural expression. And if you're like me, you've probably rewatched that performance more than once, dissecting every frame, every lyric, every powerful image. It wasn't just entertainment; it was a moment. A moment that resonated deeply, sparking conversations about history, representation, and the power of performance. And it got me thinking about those moments that are bigger than ourselves, those times when we're called to step onto a stage, literal or metaphorical, and contribute to something larger than our individual experiences.As women, we often underestimate the power of our presence. We downplay our accomplishments and minimize our impact. We're taught to be humble, to stay in our lane, to not take up too much space. But Kendrick's performance reminded me that we are meant to take up space. We are meant to shine. We are meant to use our voices and our talents to make a difference, however big or small.This isn't about comparing ourselves to Kendrick Lamar. It's about recognizing that we all have our own stages, our own moments where we are called to step up and be more than just ourselves. It's about acknowledging the unique gifts and experiences that we bring to the table and using them to create positive change in the world around us.So, I ask you, what are the "stages" in your life where you've been chosen? What are the moments, big or small, where you've stepped up and made a difference? Reflect on the times when you felt a sense of purpose, a calling to something larger than yourself. Embrace those moments, celebrate your contributions, and recognize the power you have to shape the world around you. Because, just like Kendrick on that Super Bowl stage, we are all chosen for something. It's up to us to answer the call.

Our Moment: Reflecting on the "Chosen" in Our Lives

2025 has already been a year. Between… well, between everything, let's just say we all have earned a gold medal. But 2025? 2025 is the year we reclaim our time, our sanity, and our peace. It's the year of the "Nah, I'm good," the "Yes, I'm in therapy," and the "Girl, bye." It's the year we become our best selves, one rested and recharged Black woman at a time.This isn't about escaping life's responsibilities (though wouldn't that be nice?). This is about prioritizing our well-being so we can continue to slay the game with a little more grace and a lot less burnout.The "Nah, I'm Good" Initiative: This year, we're practicing the art of saying "no" without the guilt trip. Your cousin needs you to bake 12 dozen sweet potato pies for the family reunion? "Nah, I'm good. I'm bringing my famous potato salad instead." Your church needs you to head up three committees? "Nah, I'm good. I'll pray for y'all though." Your boss wants you to take on yet another project? "Nah, I'm good. I'm focusing on my current workload." See how easy that is? (Okay, maybe not easy, but necessary.)Therapy: Because We Ain't Superheroes (Though We Often Play the Part): Let's normalize therapy in the Black community, especially for us seasoned women. We carry a lot on our shoulders, and sometimes, a good talk with a professional is just what we need to unpack it all. Think of it as a tune-up for your mind. And if anyone gives you the side-eye, just tell them you're working on your "inner peace".Reclaiming Our Time (and Our Sanity): This year, we're not just surviving; we're thriving. We're taking time for ourselves, whether it's a bubble bath, a good book, a walk in the park, or just a quiet moment to sip some tea and scroll through Instagram (guilt-free, of course). Remember, "me time" is not selfish; it's essential.Becoming Our Best Selves (One Nap and One Therapy Session at a Time): This isn't about some drastic transformation. It's about small, consistent steps toward prioritizing our well-being. It's about setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and embracing our authentic selves. It's about recognizing that we are worthy of rest, joy, and peace.2025 is the year we put ourselves first.Let's embrace the "Nah, I'm good," the "Yes, I'm in therapy," and the "Girl, bye." Be intentional about reclaiming your time, your sanity, and your peace!<figure id="figure-jwe7ufwslqm7c6n53z"><img id="jwe7ufwslqm7c6n53z" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1056239736/photo/excited-afro-amercian-woman-celebrating-success.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=6JBDfHV5zx1nyQbbxLuD_TnXRS4SpbjtctYdxX-_DwM=" alt="Excited afro amercian woman celebrating success" title="Excited afro amercian woman celebrating success" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1056239736/photo/excited-afro-amercian-woman-celebrating-success.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=6JBDfHV5zx1nyQbbxLuD_TnXRS4SpbjtctYdxX-_DwM=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>

The Year of the "Nah, I'm Good" and the "Yes, I'm in Therapy"

We are the backbone of our families, our communities, and often, our workplaces. Black women are superheroes, right? Well, almost. While we possess incredible strength, even superheroes need a sidekick sometimes. And that's where the power of asking for help comes in.For so long, we've been conditioned to believe that we have to do it all, all the time. We're told to be strong, to be independent, to handle everything with grace and a smile. But let's be real, that's not sustainable. It's not healthy. And it certainly doesn't contribute to our wellness.<figure id="figure-qluugtlio2m79njmxw"><img id="qluugtlio2m79njmxw" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1444535927/photo/happy-businesspeople-on-a-casual-meeting-at-their-company.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=QHHsa_NRP6M-TIKZxATD9O0TuBP_7OA__Yzzx_Iuw-0=" alt="Happy Businesspeople On A Casual Meeting At Their Company" title="Happy Businesspeople On A Casual Meeting At Their Company" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1444535927/photo/happy-businesspeople-on-a-casual-meeting-at-their-company.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=QHHsa_NRP6M-TIKZxATD9O0TuBP_7OA__Yzzx_Iuw-0=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>The truth is, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. It's an acknowledgment that we are human, that we have limits, and that we deserve support. It's an act of self-care, a way of prioritizing our well-being and ensuring that we can continue to thrive.Think about it: when we're constantly pouring from an empty cup, we're not only depleting ourselves, but we're also unable to effectively care for others. Just like a superhero needs to recharge, we need to allow ourselves the space and support to replenish our energy and resources.<figure id="figure-nqpqeyjqbm79npoh5"><img id="nqpqeyjqbm79npoh5" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1366830155/photo/woman-enjoying-a-candlelight-bath.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=pMzel8LVWMZY3mWFMDhn7zx9PGqGJnl-g2JODQd7Wm0=" alt="Woman Enjoying a Candlelight Bath" title="Woman Enjoying a Candlelight Bath" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1366830155/photo/woman-enjoying-a-candlelight-bath.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=pMzel8LVWMZY3mWFMDhn7zx9PGqGJnl-g2JODQd7Wm0=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>So, how do we start asking for help? Here are a few tips:Identify your needs: What areas of your life are causing you stress or overwhelm? Are you struggling with work-life balance? Do you need help with childcare? Are you feeling emotionally drained? Pinpointing your specific needs is the first step toward getting the right kind of support. Start small: Asking for help doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It can be as simple as asking a friend to watch your kids for an hour so you can take a walk or asking a colleague for advice on a project. The more you practice asking for small things, the easier it will become to ask for bigger things. Be specific: When you ask for help, be clear about what you need. Instead of saying "I need help," try saying "I could really use some help with (specific task) on (specific day)." This makes it easier for people to understand what you need and how they can assist you. Don't be afraid to say no: Sometimes, people may offer help that isn't quite what you need. It's okay to politely decline and explain what kind of support would be more helpful. Let go of the "strong Black woman" myth: We are strong, yes, but we don't have to be strong all the time. Let go of the pressure to be perfect and embrace the vulnerability of asking for help. It's a sign of self-awareness and self-respect. Remember you are worthy: You deserve support. You deserve to feel well. You are worthy of receiving help, just as you are always there to support others.<figure id="figure-1lguqtznom79nrgp4"><img id="1lguqtznom79nrgp4" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1302600191/photo/im-here-for-you-always.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=6cZmubdZbvGZu-a7LSrPhphbMRl5JMtp5XcZcHgqu-Q=" alt="I'm here for you, always" title="I'm here for you, always" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>Asking for help is not a weakness; it's a superpower. It's a way of taking care of ourselves so that we can continue to be the amazing, powerful Black women that we are. So, sis, take a deep breath, identify your needs, and don't be afraid to ask. You deserve it.

Sis, It's Okay to Ask: Why Asking for Help is an Act of Self-Care for Black Women

Happy Valentine's or Galentine’s Day, Queens! Let's be real, at this stage of the game, we know the real love story is the one we have with ourselves. Forget the chocolates (unless they're dark chocolate, because, of antioxidants!), forget the roses (unless you’re buying them for yourself if you are single, which I highly recommend!), and let's focus on the most important relationship of all: the one with YOU.Now, I know what some of you are thinking: "Wellness? At my age? I'm just trying to make sure I don't leave my keys in the fridge!" I feel you. Life over 45 can be a whirlwind of responsibilities, from juggling careers and families to navigating the joys and challenges of this incredible chapter. But amidst all the hustle, it's crucial to prioritize our well-being. Because, let's face it, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. And if Mama ain't well, well, that's a whole other story.So, this Valentine's Day, let's ditch the pressure of romantic expectations and embrace the power of self-love. This isn't about bubble baths and face masks (though those are great too!). This is about nurturing your mind, body, and spirit in ways that truly nourish you.<figure id="figure-iis3csdd4m7575fhq"><img id="iis3csdd4m7575fhq" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1206992991/photo/i-just-had-a-great-yoga-session.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=r2tL7o45794kRspehw6o1G6lxXzEt-BYiCZ2-xFTfu4=" alt="I just had a great yoga session" title="I just had a great yoga session" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>Here are a few nuggets of wisdom (and a dash of humor) to get you started:Move it, Mama! I know, I know. The couch is calling your name. But even a little bit of movement can make a world of difference. Think dancing in your kitchen to your favorite tunes (bonus points for sweeping while you do it!), taking a brisk walk in the park, or trying a gentle yoga class. Remember, we're not training for the Olympics here. We're just trying to keep our joints happy and our energy levels up. (Plus, it's a great excuse to wear those cute workout clothes you never wear!)Feed Your Soul (and Your Belly): Nourishing our bodies with healthy foods is essential, but let's not forget about feeding our souls too. Indulge in the foods that make you feel good, whether it's a comforting bowl of gumbo or a vibrant salad bursting with flavor. And don't forget the occasional treat! Life is too short to deny yourself a slice of red velvet cake. Just remember moderation, ladies. We're aiming for wellness, not a sugar crash.<figure id="figure-yflrq9wc9am757fbkp" class=""><img id="yflrq9wc9am757fbkp" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1410069378/photo/two-female-friends-enjoy-a-healthy-meal-in-the-park.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=IPiWPjfMWW_glyqFuTsXI1SNs1I-oNXjYE_WTho3Ymo=" alt="Two female friends enjoy a healthy meal in the park" title="Two female friends enjoy a healthy meal in the park" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1410069378/photo/two-female-friends-enjoy-a-healthy-meal-in-the-park.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=IPiWPjfMWW_glyqFuTsXI1SNs1I-oNXjYE_WTho3Ymo=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Connect and Cultivate: Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up and make you laugh. Nurture your friendships, spend time with loved ones, and don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. We're all in this together, and having a strong support system is vital. Plus, let’s be honest, sometimes a good gossip session with your girlfriends is the best therapy money can’t buy!Embrace the "Me Time": This is non-negoti. Schedule some time for yourself every day, even if it's just for 15 minutes. Read a book, listen to music, meditate, or simply sit in silence and enjoy the peace. Remember, "me time" is not selfish; it's essential for your well-being. And if anyone gives you grief about it, just tell them you're busy "recharging your batteries" (and maybe add a little wink).<figure id="figure-nkngyj3tvqm757b828"><img id="nkngyj3tvqm757b828" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1167736882/photo/joyful-friends-laughing-and-hugging-in-front-of-purple-wall.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=WNzclq0Y9oXvVWjfBl-Y-r6ZJXinPxj3t_A2NsgWlqo=" alt="Joyful friends laughing and hugging in front of purple wall" title="Joyful friends laughing and hugging in front of purple wall" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1167736882/photo/joyful-friends-laughing-and-hugging-in-front-of-purple-wall.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=WNzclq0Y9oXvVWjfBl-Y-r6ZJXinPxj3t_A2NsgWlqo=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Laugh Often: Laughter is truly the best medicine. Watch a funny movie, listen to a comedy podcast, or spend time with people who make you smile. Don't take life too seriously. Remember, joy is a powerful antidote to stress and negativity.Today, let's celebrate ourselves and our fabulousness. Let's embrace self-love, prioritize our well-being, and remember that we are worthy of all the good things life has to offer. Now go and be your magnificent selves! You deserve it.

The Ultimate Love Story: Prioritizing Your Well-being

Okay, let's be real. Super Bowl Sunday isn't usually my scene. The game itself? Meh. But the halftime show? That's where the magic happens. And this year, something felt different. Seeing Kendrick Lamar command that stage, a celebration of Black artistry unfolding before the world, it hit me in a way I didn't quite expect.It wasn't just the music, though the beats were fire and the choreography was mesmerizing. It was something deeper. Something that resonated with me as a Black woman. It was a feeling of seeing myself. Not just my skin color, but the complexities of my experience, the joy, the struggle, the sheer existence of being a Black woman in this world.For so long, we've been told to shrink, to be quiet, to fit into boxes that were never built for us. We've been told our joy is too loud, our anger too much, our very presence a disruption. But on that stage, Kendrick and those incredible dancers, they weren't shrinking. They were taking up space. They were celebrating our culture, our history, our resilience. And in that moment, I felt seen.<figure id="figure-djo4sxr5elm72lc91p"><img id="djo4sxr5elm72lc91p" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1521510186458-bbbda7aef46b?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMHx8QmxhY2slMjB3b21lbnxlbnwwfHx8fDE3Mzk0MDU3NTR8MA&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=1080" alt="five woman sitting on the ground" title="five woman sitting on the ground" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>It's hard to explain the weight that lifts when you see yourself reflected in such a powerful way. It's like a breath you didn't realize you were holding. It's a reminder that we are worthy of celebration, that our stories matter, that our joy is a force to be reckoned with.Someone asked me the next day, "Did you see the halftime show?" And I didn't just see it. I felt it. I felt the collective energy of Black women across the country, maybe even the world, feeling that same sense of pride, that same spark of recognition.It wasn't just about the spectacle, though that was undeniable. It was about the quiet moments too. The way the dancers moved, the expressions on their faces, the sheer power of their presence. It was a reminder that we are strong, we are beautiful, we are capable of anything we set our minds to.And maybe, just maybe, it was a reminder to myself, and to other Black women out there, that it's okay to take up space. It's okay to celebrate our joy. It's okay to be exactly who we are. Because in those moments, when we are truly present, when we are connected to our own power and resilience, that's when we truly shine. And that, my sistah, is something worth celebrating.

Come-Passionate Coaching, LLC

Blog

Sometimes "The Bigger Person" Needs a Minute: On Angela B...

Our Moment: Reflecting on the "Chosen" in Our Lives

The Year of the "Nah, I'm Good" and the "Yes, I'm in Ther...

Sis, It's Okay to Ask: Why Asking for Help is an Act of S...

The Ultimate Love Story: Prioritizing Your Well-being

What Kendrick's Super Bowl Performance Meant to Me (and M...