Why Being Counted Out Fuels Our Wins

"I love when you count me out" -Kendrick Lamar

I want to talk about a feeling we all know too well. It's that subtle dismissiveness, the quiet doubt in someone's eyes, the unspoken assumption that you're not quite capable, not quite "it." It’s the sting of being underestimated, overlooked, or simply… counted out. As Black women, especially as we gain wisdom and stride confidently through life, this isn't just a hypothetical; it's often a lived experience.

Maybe it was in a professional setting, where your ideas were minimized until someone else voiced them. A personal goal, where a dream was deemed "too big" or "unrealistic." Or the broader societal narrative that sometimes tries to diminish our power, our expertise, our very presence. You feel it – that quiet nudge to the side, that unspoken suggestion that your best days are behind you, or that your ambition is misplaced.

It can be frustrating, even infuriating, to feel invisible or less than. It can make you question yourself, momentarily. But here's the profound truth I've come to embrace: sometimes, being counted out is the greatest gift.

There’s a unique kind of fuel that ignites when someone underestimates your fire. It’s a powerful, internal shift. It's not about proving them wrong for their benefit, but about affirming your own unwavering belief in yourself. It becomes less about external validation and more about an unbreakable commitment to your own potential.

When the world draws a line and places you outside it, it frees you. You're no longer playing by their limited expectations. You're suddenly operating on your own terms, powered by an underdog spirit that has nothing to lose and everything to gain. The energy that might have gone into seeking approval is now redirected into quiet determination, into meticulous planning, into the sheer, stubborn joy of proving it to the most important person: yourself.

The "win" isn't always a grand, public spectacle. Sometimes, it's the quiet satisfaction of achieving a personal goal no one believed possible. It's the resilience you discover when you push through doubts, internal and external. It's the quiet triumph of knowing your own strength, even when others failed to see it. It's about blooming right where they thought you couldn't grow.

So, the next time someone casts doubt, or subtly dismisses your capabilities, remember this: my God works in mysterious ways. That dismissal might just be the spark you needed. Let their underestimation be the wind beneath your wings, propelling you forward. Because there's a unique and powerful kind of satisfaction that comes from achieving what others deemed impossible. Let them count you out. We know that often, that's exactly when we're counting ourselves in.