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Shot of two young women out for a run together

Hey sis, let's have a heart-to-heart. We've all been there, haven't we? The scale, the mirror, the constant barrage of messages about what we "should" look like. For Black women, weight can be a particularly sensitive topic. It's a conversation often filled with judgment, shame, and unrealistic expectations. But today, let's approach it with grace, understanding, and a whole lot of real talk.We know the statistics. We know that Black women are disproportionately affected by obesity and overweight. But those numbers don't tell the whole story. They don't tell the story of the hormonal changes that can make weight management more challenging. They don't tell the story of the stress we carry, the emotional eating we sometimes turn to, or the cultural factors that influence our food choices. They don't tell the story of the systemic issues that create barriers to healthy living in our communities.And honestly, they don't tell the story of our inherent beauty.So, let's ditch the shame and start having an honest conversation about weight. This isn't about fitting into a certain size or chasing an unrealistic ideal. This is about our health, well-being, and ability to live our best lives.Here's what I want you to know:You are not alone. Many of us are navigating similar challenges. There is no shame in acknowledging that weight management can be difficult.Your worth is not defined by your weight. Your value as a woman, as a human being, is not determined by a number on a scale. You are beautiful, worthy, and deserving of love and respect, regardless of your size.This is about health, not just appearance. Focus on making healthy choices that nourish your body and support your well-being. This includes eating nutritious foods, moving your body in ways that feel good, and prioritizing stress management.Small changes can make a big difference. You don't have to overhaul your entire lifestyle overnight. Start with small, manageable changes that you can sustain over time.Seek support. Don't be afraid to reach out to healthcare professionals, registered dietitians, or support groups. They can provide guidance, resources, and encouragement.Be kind to yourself. This is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and challenging days. Practice self-compassion and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.Let's create a culture of support and understanding. Instead of judging ourselves and each other, let's lift each other up and celebrate our strength and resilience. Create a space where we can have honest conversations about weight without shame or judgment.We aren't perfect, and that's alright. We're human and navigate these challenges with the tools we have. Focus on progress, not perfection. Prioritize health and well-being. You are beautiful and worthy just as you are. You got this!<figure id="figure-ylu3e7txihm7xqrw3p"><img id="ylu3e7txihm7xqrw3p" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1313649154/photo/shot-of-two-young-women-showing-thumbs-up-while-out-for-a-workout.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=wi99u1zc4bjDqf-HKJudYUqB0opIJrym5o5WZNQgpqA=" alt="Shot of two young women showing thumbs up while out for a workout" title="Shot of two young women showing thumbs up while out for a workout" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>

Let's Talk About Weight: A Real Conversation, With Grace and Understanding

African-american woman wearing protective face mask, standing in front of a blue background, during COVID19

We've all been there. That moment when you're faced with a new challenge, a new opportunity, or even a simple compliment, and a little voice inside whispers, "Are you sure you can do this?" Or, "Did they really mean that?" It's that nagging feeling that you're somehow not qualified or capable, or just waiting to be "found out." It's that sneaky imposter syndrome, and it's a feeling that is more common than we like to admit.But here's the thing: that little voice? It's a liar. It's a master of disguise, pretending to be your inner critic when it's just fear masquerading as caution. And it's stealing your joy, your confidence, and your potential.We've all achieved incredible things. We've navigated life's twists and turns, overcome obstacles, and built a wealth of experience along the way. Yet, that little voice persists, whispering doubts and undermining our accomplishments.So, how do we silence that voice and embrace our authentic confidence?The first step is to recognize imposter syndrome for what it is: a feeling, not a fact. It's a common experience, and it doesn't mean you're inadequate. Just acknowledging its presence can help you to disarm its power.Celebrate Your Wins! Take time to reflect on your accomplishments, both big and small. Keep a record of your successes, your positive feedback, and the moments when you've truly shone. When that little voice starts to creep in, revisit your wins and remind yourself of your capabilities.Embrace Imperfection: Perfection is an illusion. We all make mistakes, and we all have areas where we can improve. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progress, on learning, and on growing. Embrace the journey, imperfections and all.Reframe Your Thoughts: Challenge the negative narratives that imposter syndrome creates. Instead of thinking, "I'm not qualified," try thinking, "I have the skills and experience to handle this." Instead of thinking, "They'll find out I'm a fraud," try thinking, "I'm capable and deserving of this opportunity."Find Your Tribe: Connect with others who understand what you're going through. Share your experiences, offer support, and celebrate each other's successes. Knowing that you're not alone can be incredibly empowering.Focus on Your Strengths: Instead of dwelling on your perceived weaknesses, focus on your strengths. What are you good at? What are your passions? Lean into your strengths and let them guide you.Remember Your Why: Why are you doing what you're doing? What impact do you want to make? Connecting with your purpose can help you to overcome self-doubt and stay focused on your goals.That little voice might never completely disappear, but it doesn't have to control you. You have the power to choose which voice you listen to. Choose the voice of confidence, the voice of experience, the voice of your authentic self. Because you are capable, you are deserving, and you are more than enough.<figure id="figure-c07za7f6om7m9205j"><img id="c07za7f6om7m9205j" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/970073812/photo/oh-so-silly.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=kNCrG9UwLBav65Syv3Qm4gtEvp5tJwYhPCdWUXxQsQ4=" alt="Oh so silly!" title="Oh so silly!" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>

That Little Voice: Finding Your Authentic Confidence

Butterflies are pretty, but she's prettier

What is power? Not the kind that comes from a corner office or a title (though those are great too!). I'm talking about the deep, internal power that comes from knowing yourself, owning your story, and embracing the incredible woman you've become. Because, let's be real, 45 and fabulous isn't just a catchy phrase; it's a declaration of self-acceptance, resilience, and the sheer magic of this stage of life.We've been through a lot, y'all. We've done it all and everything in between. We've navigated challenges, overcome obstacles, and learned a thing or two (or ten thousand) about life along the way. And now? Now it's time to step into our power, to claim our space, and to shine brighter than ever before.<figure id="figure-ec6gi5njtm7l2cptb"><img id="ec6gi5njtm7l2cptb" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2063755540/photo/young-woman-having-a-face-care-routine-in-the-morning.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=SksMTErAu1jA_qOiVgjE2IbWUFkIWcAwNP03Zc-Ryqk=" alt="Young woman having a face care routine in the morning" title="Young woman having a face care routine in the morning" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2063755540/photo/young-woman-having-a-face-care-routine-in-the-morning.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=SksMTErAu1jA_qOiVgjE2IbWUFkIWcAwNP03Zc-Ryqk=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>But what does that actually mean? What does it look like to own your power after 45? Well, it's different for every woman, but here are a few thoughts to get you started:It's about knowing your worth:&nbsp;We've spent so much time caring for others, nurturing their dreams, and supporting their journeys. Now, it's time to prioritize our own needs and recognize our own value. We are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. We are worthy of pursuing our passions, setting boundaries, and saying "no" without the guilt trip.It's about embracing our wisdom:&nbsp;We've accumulated a wealth of knowledge and experience over the years. We've learned from our mistakes, celebrated our successes, and developed a unique perspective that only comes with time. It's time to own that wisdom, share our stories, and use our voices to make a difference.It's about letting go of what no longer serves us: This could be anything from toxic relationships to outdated beliefs to that pair of jeans you've been holding onto for "someday." Letting go creates space for new opportunities, new connections, and new adventures.<figure id="figure-b0z44rv2xim7l2fm12"><img id="b0z44rv2xim7l2fm12" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/618337304/photo/theres-a-fine-art-to-picking-out-the-perfect-outfit.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=kQCIMtMg6SACqBc0iVNBsYxACfxP1FSpXQMADkveOa8=" alt="There’s a fine art to picking out the perfect outfit" title="There’s a fine art to picking out the perfect outfit" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/618337304/photo/theres-a-fine-art-to-picking-out-the-perfect-outfit.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=kQCIMtMg6SACqBc0iVNBsYxACfxP1FSpXQMADkveOa8=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>It's about embracing our authentic selves: We've spent so much time trying to fit into molds, trying to please everyone else, and trying to be someone we're not. Now, it's time to let go of all that and embrace our true selves, flaws and all. Our authenticity is our superpower!It's about living with intention: This is our time, ladies. We don't have time for things that don't bring us joy or align with our values. Let's be intentional about how we spend our time, who we spend it with, and what we choose to focus on.Stepping into our power isn't about some dramatic transformation. It's about small, consistent choices that honor our needs, celebrate our strengths, and align with our true selves. It's about recognizing that we are capable, resilient, and absolutely fabulous. Own it, and then step into your power and create the life you truly deserve. Because the best is yet to come!<figure id="figure-wzattvrl3im7l2jl2l"><img id="wzattvrl3im7l2jl2l" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2156052121/photo/portrait-of-athlete-mature-woman-shouting-on-a-studio-shot-with-cream-colored%C2%A0background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=io-PAe-3uU_iOLujWveftDYsp5ikK_F0RTNqiOlqgyQ=" alt="Portrait of athlete mature woman shouting on a studio shot with cream colored&nbsp;background" title="Portrait of athlete mature woman shouting on a studio shot with cream colored&nbsp;background" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2156052121/photo/portrait-of-athlete-mature-woman-shouting-on-a-studio-shot-with-cream-colored%C2%A0background.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=io-PAe-3uU_iOLujWveftDYsp5ikK_F0RTNqiOlqgyQ=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>

45 and Fabulous: It's Time to Own Your Power (Because, Sis, You've Earned It)

We've all heard the saying: "Black don't crack." It's a phrase that celebrates the resilience and perceived agelessness of Black skin. And while there's truth to the fact that melanin offers some protection against sun damage, it's also a phrase that can unintentionally minimize the very real internal experiences of Black women, particularly as we navigate the complexities of aging, stress, and hormonal shifts. Because while our skin might hold up beautifully, there's often a whole weather system brewing inside.We're talking about the internal climate that can be impacted by perimenopause, menopause, stress, chronic health conditions, and the everyday challenges of being a Black woman. We're talking about the "weather" that's often invisible to the outside world, but that can significantly impact our well-being.And let's be real, sis, that weather can be intense. It can be hot, it can be cold, it can be stormy, and it can change in an instant.&nbsp;<figure id="figure-v8tanbmstm7jazard"><img id="v8tanbmstm7jazard" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/658448798/photo/focused-only-on-fitness.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=jg_pthdeUFTHAAZGLnYDAcLgRx75bC8k-CGNqPrY78Y=" alt="Focused only on fitness" title="Focused only on fitness" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>But here's the truth: it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to acknowledge the internal weather, to honor our feelings, and to prioritize our inner climate. Because true strength isn't about pretending the storms don't exist; it's about learning how to weather them.While "Black don't crack" is meant to be a compliment, let's recognize that it can also be a burden. Let's create space for open and honest conversations about the challenges we face, both physically and emotionally.Focus on practices that nourish our bodies and minds. This includes healthy eating, regular exercise, stress management techniques, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of our internal climate is essential for our overall well-being.Don't be afraid to reach out to healthcare professionals, therapists, or support groups. We deserve access to resources that can help us navigate the internal weather and manage any symptoms or challenges we're facing.Our experiences matter. Our feelings matter. Our struggles matter. Let's create a culture of sisterhood and support where we can share our stories without judgment and find strength in our shared experiences.Be kind to yourself, sis. We're all doing the best we can. Permit yourself to feel your feelings, to acknowledge your challenges, and to prioritize your well-being."Black don't crack" might be a nice saying, but it's also incomplete. It's a starting point, not the whole story. Let's honor the full spectrum of our experiences, both internal and external.<figure id="figure-pavuck0hx4m7jb126a"><img id="pavuck0hx4m7jb126a" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1492633423870-43d1cd2775eb?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw3Mnx8QmxhY2slMjB3b21lbnxlbnwwfHx8fDE3NDA0MTY1MjR8MA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" alt="woman smiling wearing flower crown" title="woman smiling wearing flower crown" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1492633423870-43d1cd2775eb?crop=entropy&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;fit=max&amp;fm=jpg&amp;ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw3Mnx8QmxhY2slMjB3b21lbnxlbnwwfHx8fDE3NDA0MTY1MjR8MA&amp;ixlib=rb-4.0.3&amp;q=80&amp;w=1080" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>

"Black Don't Crack," But What About the Weather Inside? Honoring the Inner Climate of Black Women

Black women are known for their strength. We are often the ones everyone leans on. We juggle careers, families, and everything in between, often with a smile and an "I got this" attitude. But what happens when the strong friend needs a little support herself? What happens when the rock starts to feel a little… shaky?It's easy to assume that the woman who always has it together is, well, always together. We see her handling everything with grace and ease, and we think, "She's good. She doesn't need me to check in." But that's the thing about strong friends: they're often so good at holding it together that we miss the subtle signs that they might be struggling.We've all heard the saying, "Check on your strong friends." But how often do we actually do it? And how often do we go beyond the surface level "How are you?" to really delve into what's going on?As Black women 45+, we've seen a lot, we've experienced a lot, and we carry a lot. We're navigating hormonal changes, career shifts, family dynamics, and often, the weight of societal expectations. We're strong, yes, but we're also human. We have our struggles, our vulnerabilities, and our own need for support.So, how can we check on our strong friends in a way that's meaningful and supportive?Go beyond the "How are you?": Instead of a generic greeting, try something more specific, like, "I was thinking about you. How are you really doing?" or "I noticed you've been quiet lately. Everything okay?" This shows that you're paying attention and genuinely care.Listen actively: When your friend opens up, truly listen without judgment or interruption. Create a safe space for her to share her feelings without offering unsolicited advice (unless she asks for it). Sometimes, just having someone listen is enough.Offer practical support: Instead of just saying "Let me know if you need anything," offer concrete help. "Can I pick up your kids from school tomorrow?" or "I'm making a pot of soup. Can I bring you some?" Sometimes, it's the small, practical gestures that make the biggest difference.Follow-up: Checking in once is great, but following up shows that you're genuinely invested in your friend's well-being. A simple text message or phone call a few days later can go a long way.Don't assume everything is okay just because she says it is: Sometimes, we tell people we're fine even when we're not. Pay attention to your friend's body language and energy. If something seems off, trust your gut and gently probe further.Encourage professional help: If your friend is struggling with something serious, encourage her to seek professional help. Let her know that therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness, and that there are resources available to support her.Today, make a conscious effort to reach out to your “strong friends” and do this regularly, just because. Be intentional about creating a culture of support and sisterhood where we can all feel seen, heard, and loved. Because even the strongest woman needs a little grace sometimes. And sometimes, the strongest women need someone to ask, "Are you really okay?"Resources:<a href="http://www.therapyforblackgirls.com" data-mce-href="http://www.therapyforblackgirls.com">www.therapyforblackgirls.com</a><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com" data-mce-href="http://www.psychologytoday.com">www.psychologytoday.com</a>If you need to talk to someone, these resources are confidential and available for free 24/7:National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call: 1-800-273-8255Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741Disaster Distress Hotline: Call 1-800-985-5990, or text TALKWITHUS to 66-746National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call1-800-799-7233 or text LOVES to 22-522

Check on Your Strong Friend (Yes, Especially Her): Because We All Need a Little Grace

Confident Black businesswoman standing with arms crossed, looking away, contemplating

Let's talk about something real. Something that resonates, I think, with a lot of us, especially as Black women navigating a world that often overlooks our contributions. I'm talking about Angela Bassett's recent interview and her reflections on not receiving an award she clearly deserved. It got me thinking, and I know I'm not alone in this: how do we, as Black women, balance grace with the very valid feeling of "Hold up, now..." when we've been passed over?We've all been there, right? Put in the work, poured our heart and soul into something, only to see the recognition, the award, the "atta girl" go to someone else. Someone who maybe didn't put in half the effort. Someone who maybe benefited from a system that wasn't built with us in mind. And what are we supposed to do? Smile and wave? Be the "bigger person"? Pretend it doesn't sting?Listen, I'm all about healing. I'm all about finding peace and moving forward. But sometimes, healing also includes acknowledging the hurt. It includes saying, "This ain't right," and "I'm not happy about this." It includes refusing to shrink myself to make someone else feel comfortable.We're told, especially as Black women, to be graceful, to be gracious, to rise above. And most of the time, we do. We have to. But what happens when that "bigger person" act starts to feel like a burden? What happens when it starts to chip away at our self-worth?Angela Bassett's situation, while on a much larger scale, reflects the experiences of so many of us. It reminds us that even at the highest levels of success, we still face these challenges. It reminds us that our hard work, our talent, and our dedication are not always enough. And it reminds us that it's okay to feel some kind of way about that.So, here's what I'm thinking: healing doesn't mean pretending we're not disappointed. It doesn't mean silencing our feelings. It means acknowledging them, processing them, and then deciding how we want to move forward. Sometimes, that means speaking up. Sometimes, it means advocating for ourselves. And sometimes, it means saying, "I'm not going to be the bigger person this time."It's okay to feel the sting of being overlooked. It's okay to express that disappointment. It's okay to demand what we deserve. Because true healing isn't about ignoring our feelings; it's about honoring them. It's about recognizing our worth and refusing to settle for less.This isn't about being bitter or holding onto negativity. It's about self-respect. It's about recognizing that our contributions matter. And it's about refusing to let anyone, or any system, diminish our value. So, sis, if you've been feeling like you've been passed over, know that you're not alone. Your feelings are valid. And sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is to acknowledge the hurt, speak our truth, and refuse to be anything less than our full, authentic selves.

Come-Passionate Coaching, LLC

Blog

Let's Talk About Weight: A Real Conversation, With Grace ...

That Little Voice: Finding Your Authentic Confidence

45 and Fabulous: It's Time to Own Your Power (Because, Si...

"Black Don't Crack," But What About the Weather Inside? H...

Check on Your Strong Friend (Yes, Especially Her): Becaus...

Sometimes "The Bigger Person" Needs a Minute: On Snubs an...